Exit Cordelia
by Merrin
Summary: C/B, no more than a tease, really. Deep down, it's really C/A. Set during 'The Wish'


**Title:**

Exit Cordelia

**Author:**

Merrin

**Disclaimer:**

All characters and settings are the property of Joss Whedon.

**Note:**

This little scene inserts into the season 3 episode, 'The Wish' after the Bronze scene early on. Inspiration for this unlikely scenario comes from the story, 'The Buffy/Spike Shipper Society Writes a Fanfic', by CJ. Some guy named Phil, who drools, mentions a C/B scenario. Thought I'd give it a shot.

Also, hoping for the B/S SS to write another chapter of "Shades of Gray" soon. I shoudn't have to attempt to write my own vicarious entertainment!

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Cordelia pushed her way out the back door of the Bronze. Her wounds were throbbing. The wound in her side. The fresh scars on her brittle ego. In her imagination, she could still hear the mocking laughter of her 'friends': Harmony and the cheerleading co-captain, and oh, the dark-haired, bitchy one, what was her name?

'I've always been strong,' she thought. 'But this is too much. I've always been the one who made other people feel small, made them slink away. If this is the way it felt to them..' No, can't go there. 'Why should I have to go there? Why should I question myself? I see things. I say what I think. If people can't deal, that's their problem.'

'No. Xander Harris is the reason I'm here. In this humiliation nightmare. I let him adore me; it was an act of kindness toward someone unworthy, and this is how I'm repaid. He cheats on me with Willow. Willow??! And everyone knows.' That was the worst part. Everyone knew.

'All of the times I let him kiss me. Let him in.' she thought.

Can't go there, either. That way lay thoughts of his scent, his arms, the hungry way he kissed her as if he really needed her. 'Damnit! He doesn't deserve me crying over him. I won't let myself.'

"Cordelia!"

Buffy's voice from behind Cordy startled her, made her turn her head just as she stepped into a pothole in the asphalt. She stretched her hands out in front of her to break the fall. 

There was the jarring impact of hitting the pavement. She was on her knees, trying to get her senses back. Buffy was taking Cordy's hands, helping her up.

The tears slipped down Cordelia's cheeks now. Silently. If she had noticed them, she would have claimed that it was just the pain and surprise of the fall.

Buffy was the one who noticed. She looked into Cordy's face, then down at her hands.

"You're bleeding. Your hand."

Cordelia tried to pull away. Buffy gently insisted. She put pressure on the bleeding wound with her own bare hand.****

Reaching up to touch Cordy's face, Buffy grazed a finger across the path of a single tear. Cordelia finally realized that her face was wet, that she was crying. 'These tears have nothing to do with Xander Harris,' She silently told Buffy. 'I would never allow Xander Harris to break my heart.'

Cordelia looked up, saw Buffy looking at her. Seeing her thoughts. 

Cordy never expected what came next. Buffy leaned in, kissed her on the lips. It was a child's kiss. Short, sweet. The way some children are taught to kiss adults on the lips when they say good night or goodbye. (Not in Cordela Chase's family, of course.) But this kiss had understanding in it. And comfort. And pity. 'I hate pity,' Cordelia thought. Buffy pulled back from the kiss, held Cordy's face, wouldn't let her turn away. She held her gaze. Probably without knowing why, Buffy leaned in to kiss her again.****

Cordelia tasted her own tears. The last person to kiss her was..she refused to allow his name in. Not any more. He was the betrayer. She thought of Angel, instead. Of course, she thought 'How strange to be kissing another girl. How strange to be kissing Buffy!' But she also thought of Angel. Angel's lips against Buffy's lips. Strength against strength. She wondered about them. About how a man/woman relationship works when they both have the strength to tear each other apart. 'I want that . I want that kind of power. I wish...'

'What does it feel like to love someone who's hundreds of years old? There's something in his eyes; he's never allowed me to look for very long. But I feel as if I know him. Or will know him.' Cordelia let her thoughts run. 

Meanwhile. Buffy. Kissing her. And her lips tasting of Cordy's tears.

While she was thinking of Angel, she was feeling the taut muscle of Buffy's arm against hers, and her soft, small lips against her own. It felt good. It had slayer strength and womanly softness in it, sympathy; it felt really good. Cordelia moved her own lips, opened them slightly. Buffy's lips opened with hers. They were both still, mouths touching, lightly. Each took a slow, deep breath, then pushed back into the kiss. And suddenly, Cordy wasn't thinking of anything any longer. She was just kissing the other girl. 

There was a tiny sound behind Cordy. Just a tiny sound. Then she was roughly grabbed by the shoulder and wrenched away from Buffy. 

'The blood,' she thought. 'He must have been drawn by the smell of my blood.'

Buffy pulled Cordy away from the vampire and flung her out of the way, where she landed in a pile of boxes and garbage.

Cordy lay there, couldn't move. Watched Buffy make quick work of dispatching the vamp. Watched the cloud of dust particles, in the outline of a former vampire, disperse in the night air.

For the second time in one night, Buffy was helping Cordelia to her feet. Only now, she had landed in a pile of garbage. Smelled like garbage. Felt like garbage. And Cordy was angry. That part was good. 

"Keep your comfort. Your pity. Save it for that weakling, Xander Harris," she said. Of course she could say his name. He had no power over her. He didn't have the power to cause even the irritation that a broken nail caused her.

Buffy was the one who had changed Cordelia Chase's world. Evil things followed her. Evil things that messed with Cordy's life.

"I don't need you or your loser friends in my life." Cordy told Buffy with a haughty tilt of her chin. That took some of the humiliation out of the way she had been treated today. Buffy was silent, slack-jawed, as Cordelia made her exit. Her grand exit. She wouldn't think about tomorrow. New humiliation in store. She could just be Cordelia Chase, making her big exit.

END


End file.
